I Am Not A Reliable Narrator

23 November 2007

This Thanksgiving . . .

I am thankful to be alive. Yesterday while we were driving to Marysville to pick up two of my nieces for some Dance Dance Revolution I lost control of my father-in-law's care while I was passing a large semi. I tapped the cab of the semi and spun Jeremy and I into the very muddy and cold median. The damage to the car was minimal and we were unhurt but we were also stuck. Just as we were about to call AAA a St Clair County sheriff arrived and took our info and said he would call a tow for us. While he was doing this another car spun out going westbound on 69 (we had been traveling eastbound) a second car hit it and then a black Jeep Cherokee attempted to avoid both those cars and lost control, ultimately slamming into the rear driver's side of our completely stationery car.

Jeremy's head ended up smacked into the windshield and I got tossed around a fair bit. He has a concussion and I have Acute Cervical Trauma (aka whiplash) and we are both sore as hell. But we are also pretty fucking lucky. Lucky that the Cherokee hit the back of the car. Lucky that we didn't already have my nieces in the car. Lucky we weren't more seriously hurt.

Now I have the distinct privilege of wearing a neckbrace with my beautiful new dress. Awesome.

Today we are both really really sore. I have vicoden and he is taking 800 mg of ibu profen 3X a day. He is slightly more wary of the marvels of modern medicine than I am and refused the prescription.

They say that Stuart's (Jeremy's Dad) auto insurance will cover our medical bills, we both still had a few moments of solid terror though when we realized that we hadn't bought travel insurance and that we were pretty sure the hospital wouldn't take NHS.

Best of all though, the woman who did my Cat Scan used to baby sit me and my brother when she was a teenager.

Port Huron is a small town. But you already knew that.

I also got to meet my newest niece Kate. She wasn't sure of me and my neck brace but she was still pretty awesome.

ETA We made the papers!


that's jeremy on the stretcher in the first picture, and in the third picture you can see the jeep cherokee and the saturn we were driving.

you may henceforth refer to us as Attica Man,31, and Attica Woman,30

16 November 2007

working from home

is kind of a joke. especially right before i start my vacation.

it still helps me avoid fist fights on somebody's last day.

i picked out her leaving present yesterday. i chose something very nice, it wasn't easy but i did it.

now, i never ever have to see her again. ever.

and i get to go on vacation!


09 November 2007

The sandwich that changed my life

Boxing Day 2005
Jeremy and I were spending our last day in Barcelona. After discovering that the Gaudi museum was closed we trekked up to another museum, I can't even remember the name, we were so tired that we mostly just wandered around the grounds, in my memory it merges with Montremartre in Paris. A mix of hilly terrain and graffiti in foreign languages. We walked down the hill and found a cafe that was serving sandwiches and tapas. We ordered potato salad, onion and tomato salad and I had an omelet and ham sandwich.
There was nothing remarkable about this sandwich. It was tasty, i barely remember noticing that it was a tiny bit runny.
Later that night we met up with our Catalan friend Silvia and had churros and suiza and then she drove us to the airport. We got back to canceled trains at Gatwick and freezing cold London weather. It took ages to get back to our flat and by the time we got home we were both grumpy and tired.
The next day we walked down to our high street to get some groceries and I began to experience so intense stomach cramps. Sharp horrible pains that made me want to double over. I walked home and left Jeremy with the shopping.
At first we thought it was just a bad a stomach virus. Everyone was in the grips of a horrible puking/pooping virus right then and in Barcelona we had visited with our friend Cristina who was recovering from said virus. I saw my GP who seemed unconcerned and my blood tests came back showing that I had some sort of infection, which was in keeping with the accepted theory. Over a week later I wasn't any better. In fact I was suffering from sharp horrible pain in my lower back as well now. We went to the out of hours clinic and the dr there decided I had some sort of infection, probably kidney. We know now that it was more likely a bowel infection.
He prescribed antibiotics and I saw my regular GP who said I was safe to fly home for our planned trip to Chicago and Detroit.
When we got to Chicago my toes and the left side of my jaw started to hurt. By the time we were in Detroit my ankles and knees were in the mix. By the time we returned home my hips had joined the party.
I went back to my GP and gave him the run down of all my strange ailments. I created a calender of sickness to show him the timeline of all the symptoms. he half listened and then said, 'Well, what do you want me to do about this?' I sputtered and stuttered and said 'I want you to make me better.'
He didn't.
Two days later I woke up and could barely support myself, the pain in my ankles and feet was so bad. I called a taxi and went to A&E where I was examined quickly but still had to wait 6 hours for a diagnosis. Reactive arthritis caused by some sort of infection. Somebody else just down the hall had the same symptoms as me. I thought maybe we could form a club. The doctor who saw me that day was great. She loved my calender of sickness and the photo I took of my sausage toes to show friends back home. She commended me on my diligent note taking.
She gave me strong pain pills. Dr Lacey, I commend you.
I went back to my GP once more and was greeted with the same disregard and nonchalance.
I got a new GP.
My new GP ran the right tests and we discovered that I had Salmonella. Then she told me all about how 10% of the people who get Salmonella will also suffer from strange side effects, one of the most common is reactive arthritis caused by the bacteria moving into your joints. I am like the luckiest lady in the world.
She got me into a rheumatology clinic where they gave me steroid shots and drained my giant swollen knee.
They told me it would last for 6 months to a year.
Then about 8 months later they said, oh no more like a year to 18 months.
Then they said, oh probably more like 2 years.
Yesterday I asked the rheumatologist why the time line kept increasing. She said, 'Honestly, because we don't really know. With some people it does go away entirely in that first timeline, for some people they always experience mid level pain, and some people always experience very bad pain. At this point it sounds like you are in that second group. And while it's not as bad as it could be, it is an irritation.'
I take a bit of offense at having this referred to as an irritation like it's something I can ignore. I know that it's mostly gone and I am lucky it isn't worse, but it is hard to feel THAT lucky when you've just been told that your joints are probably never ever going to be normal again. The pain I have in my knees right now, the pain in my hip when I wake up in the morning, the horrible foot cramps I get whenever the temperature drops, they are not going away.
Therefore I am feeling pretty fucking sorry for myself right now. I am pissed off that I ever ate that fucking sandwich. And I am pissed off that one dodgy sandwich could have altered my life so much. And I'm pissed off at myself for being such a baby, but I'm tired of always having something sort of wrong with me and now I am facing the fact that there will always be something sort of wrong with me and that's just shitty. Not as shitty as having my hands chopped off or getting cancer or being paralyzed or any number of horrible things really, but still shitty.
So the moral of this story is, I guess, watch the state of your eggs (especially in Barcelona) because a sandwich can change everything, and rarely for the better.
Although, wouldn't it be great if there was a sandwich that cured Salmonella and reactive arthritis? I would eat that sandwich every single day, even if it had anchovies!

05 November 2007

This Weekend I:

  1. Went here for cocktails and tasty Dim Sum
  2. Saw this and was confused
  3. Ate here and had delicious food (Guinea fowl on asalsify and shallots and crabcakes in a saffron hollandaise) but had really crap service.
  4. Made all my clothes fit in my drawers.
  5. Braved the big Sainsbury's on a Saturday morning.
  6. Hopped a fence in Hyde Park to see this before it got taken down.
  7. Did not bother with the Matthew Barney exhibit. I don't care if Bjork loves him, I don't care for the artwork of Matthew Barney and if this makes me a luddite then I am happy to be a luddite (see also Carolyn's feelings about Duchamp (more commonly referred to as fucking Duchamp) and Andy Warhol)
  8. Bought the book that goes along with this exhibit that we saw in Venice this summer
  9. Ate considerably less fancy dinner at a Thai place in Soho with much better service.
  10. Went to Tate Modern and saw this and this. Was really impressed by both. Especially Louise Bourgeois, I didn't know a whole lot about her before but am really glad I got to see her art now. Especially the rooms she makes out of doors and her spiders. And I hate spiders!
  11. Made a tasty cheesy spinach and egg thing and jeremy made coffee cake and we ate a nice breakfast
  12. took a taxi with Jeremy into town and bought some books and got a ticket to see this.
  13. Said goodbye to Jeremy before he went to the airport (Hence the taxi, we could expense it! Expensing stuff is awesome!) to fly off to Munich for the week.
  14. Ate potstickers and drank bubble tea in Chinatown, before coming home to hang out with Oliver and go to bed.

It was a nice weekend and even though it was busy it always seemed leisurely as well. Except when I cut my hand on the fence in Hyde Park. That just hurt.

02 November 2007

New Dress


That is the dress I will be wearing to Jeremy's cousin's wedding the Saturday after Thanksgiving. It cost more than my own wedding dress but I don't care I look hot in it and it will match my silver wedding shoes. Now I just need to figure out make up, hair, and wrap.

Oh and should i wear nude fishnets, or black tights?

Help me blogosphere, you're my only hope!

01 November 2007

Tales from the streets of Nunhead

While handing out candy to our few trick-or-treaters the little boys who live kitty corner to us, came over to collect some sweets.

There are three of them and their parents are really nice a young sort of rockabilly looking couple who are always super friendly.

Anyhow I asked them what they all were and the oldest said, 'Oh we're just made up monsters.' And their mother started to laugh and said 'What did he say?'
So I repeated, 'Made up monsters.'
And she laughed harder before saying 'Oooh, I thought he said Made Up Nonsense!'

Then he showed us the brain he had in his box (fresh from a monkey) and they were on their way.

Next year I think I will be Made Up Nonsense for Halloween. Not sure how I'll put it together but it can't be that hard.