My least favorite questions that people ask me when I go back to the US (with answers both given and imagined)

1. So, London, do you love it?

Given answer: Yeah it's really great.

Imagined answer: It's where I live, it's okay, but it's like living anywhere really. Mostly I hang out at home with my cat. The only things that truly set it apart from, say, Chicago, are the accents and the fact that I can get tasty Indian food delivered to my door (with a free biggun of beer!)

2. So what do you do anyhow?

Real answer: Well I work at *BIGBIGBIGCompany* but work for *OtherBigCompany* and am the team leader/supervisor of the legal records department. It's an okay job, they're letting me do flex time twice a week so I can work on writing a book, so that's cool.

Imagined answer: A boring boring job. Also I am trying to write a book.

3. Oooooooh. What's your book about?

Real answer: It's sort of a coming of age thing.

Imagined answer: Do you want to jinx me? Okay then, it's loosely based on my 19th year when I moved back home and everything sucked, but with more drama and y'know some funny bits, but mostly it's about loss of friendship and trust and regaining a sense of yourself after heartbreak on multiple levels and also about community and family and finding your place. Mostly.