oh america

my writers' group met last night. it was only my second time attending but i read about 7 pages from my 1st draft (which totals about 49 pages in all) i read the part where one character tells another (her boyfriend) that she is 7 months pregnant.
i finished reading and the husband of our host for the evening poked his head out of the kitchen and began to speak about america and first of all what he hates about america (the usual) and then followed it with but what i love about america and what there is a wealth of in america is this great wealth of music and film and writing that is so true, that doesn't sugarcoat everything (he said something about the english having their fingers up their bums and making everything all flowery and stupid as well) you just tell it like it is and that was brilliant, what you just read it was everything that's good about america.

and i'm gonna say, first of all, that i think this is an overstatement, truly i think there's alot about america that is way better than my 1st draft of a partially finished novel. but secondly, that was really fucking nice to hear. i've been in a huge creative slump and that bit of unsolicited praise from an eavesdropper was pretty awesome. i felt like i did after i turned in my first story in osvaldo sabino's creative writing workshop in 1997 at wayne state university when he told me it was good enough to be published. better maybe.

so thanks america, i'll keep trying to bring the good.


ETA 16:28 8th jan 2007

I hope this doesn't come across as being too smug and self satisfied. i mean, yes i was pleased to receive such a huge compliment from a stranger and i am still pleased, but i don't necassarily believe it. it just made me feel really warm and, well, talented again. my mom has this thing about harping on me about how i need to keep writing because it is my 'gift from god' and again, i don't really believe that either (given my complicated relationship with the judeo-christian god) and she hasn't said it in awhile because i asked her to back off, because seriously, how do recover from being sold as having a gift from god if you actually suck? like that fergie, from black eyed peas says her voice is a gift from god, a vengeful old testament god maybe.

i'm veering off topic here.

the point i'm trying to make is that i don't want to seem too pompous and all ooh i'm so freaking talented i'm the best writer ever, worship me america, worship me! i'm actually feeling really baffled and pleased at the same time. i think i'm chuffed as they say on this soggy island. but i don't want to seem like a beg headed jerk, y'know?

thanksgiving

this is my second thanksgiving in a row away from home.

last year we threw a party and then had to have our cat, jasper, put to sleep because of his failing kidneys.

this year we were too lazy to have another party and instead will just have a veggie roast and roast vegetables, maybe some peas on the side. i might be cultivating an unpleasant stomach virus as well. monday and tuesday nights my stomach hurt like hell on tuesday with the added bonus of my favorite diarrhea, and yesterday and today i have had constant heartburn, plus some ookiness in my gut so far.

i've cut out caffeine and all coffee related products and am eating bio yogurt with all it's bacteria and drinking green tea and water. been snorting the zicam we smuggled back from chicago but i fear it may be too late. if i'm going to be sick i need to do it fast because i want to be better by 1st december when we go to copenhagen for the weekend. the last thing i need is a mad cap hunt for danish toilets (which thankfully are nicer than italian toilets (not hard to do) but still a toilet hunt in a foreign country is never fun).

but thanksgiving, i miss it, even though it stresses me out juggling families and getting into the inevitable fight with either my brother or dad about politics and trying to avoid upsetting my mom by saying anything crass or critical about organized religion. i miss the way the house smells and setting up the tree on friday. i miss poking around and stealing bits of turkey. i miss the way the windows fog up from the heat of the food. i miss the creamed corn and the pumpkin pie. i miss the plates of left overs and my grandma's recipe for turkey surprise (a leftover casserole that is suprisingly tasty despite looking totally grody). and i miss the pockets of time where we all get along really well and we have huge belly laughs and we actually like each other for a few bloated gluttonous minutes.

thanksgiving is something you have to let go of to a certain extent when you move abroad and i miss it more than the 4th of july or, really, any of the other American holidays, despite all of the frustration it often brings along with it. it's easier to be sentimental about my family with an ocean between us.