good music + drunk jerks = grumpy carolyn

Last night we saw The New Pornographers in Islington. It was at a really small venue and even though Neko Case wasn't playing with them they still put on a really good show (actually I think it is my destiny to only see them play shows without Neko Case, this being the second of 2). They played a really good mix of songs both old and new, and even though I'm not as keen on the new stuff yet, I have high hopes for the new album. Sadly, though, I must report on more than just the music.

I don't usually stand up at the front of shows anymore, but New Pornographers are one of my very very favorite bands and their music is so infectious and dancy and good that I decided screw this I'm going to the front and I am going to bounce my knees like a good aging indie rocker, oh and maybe my feet will even leave the ground, maybe, when they play Jackie Dressed in Cobras or My Slow Descent Into Alcoholism, maybe I will properly dance and shake what my mama gave me.

So I was up at the front, doing my knee bounce and getting ready for more when the drunk jerk arrived pushing his way into a nonexistent space knocking me and everyone else about with his belly until he was standing between my friend, Dave, and I. He immediately started to flail around and jump and bang into everyone. At one point he was leaning into me and dancing and I tried to shrug him off me and he laughed and leaned closer to me to try to explain his purpose. He said something like this "Blah blah blah me favorite band blah blah gonna have fun no matter blah blah blah if I blah blah blah shove me!" All the while freaking me to The New Pornographers. So I said "I will," and assumed he would back off, he didn't, he grabbed my shoulder and laughed and started to rub all up on me some more, so I put my finger on his chest and gave him a shove. He backed off and made friends with Dave and went back to dancing. He kept banging into me but I just kept giving firm pushes back and it was okay. Normally, this kind of thing would make me move to the back. But last night I decided no, this is one of my favorite bands too and I don't have to move back (I swear I was like Rosa Parks, except, you know, not even a little bit).

The drunk jerk kept leaving and returning, each time banging into me with his stupid gut but he wasn't as bad as before. Until the encore, they had just finished This Boy's Life, and the one about Spanish Techno (I think, I am bad with song titles) and were about to do the one that I always think is about Al Capone's speakers but is actually about blown speakers, when the dunk jerk came back and was standing directly behind me. He banged into me and I gave him the tiniest elbow to the gut, totally almost accidental, so he grabbed my shoulders and shook me.

I hate being touched on the back as it is, and I hate being approached like that from behind, and just in general, I hate it when strangers think that they have the right to touch me in a familiar manner, because they don't. No matter how drunk or well meaning you are, you don't. So I turned around, looked him in the eye and said, loudly, Stop. I turned around to face the stage and he grabbed my shoulders again and gave me another shake. So I turned around once more, grabbed his head, looked him in the eyes again and this time yelled, "Stop!" I admit, this was probably not the best tactic to take, but I was feeling rage at a really good show and I didn't like it and, mostly, I just wanted dude to leave me the hell alone.

But this time as I turned back towards the stage, he grabbed my wrists, hard, and held me in place. At this point, Jeremy had noticed that something was up and before I could figure out what to do to get away he had reached across the drunk jerk and pushed him back so he would let me go. The stranger on the other side of him had also put his hand on the drunk jerk's shoulder. Once he let go I began to walk away to go to the bathroom and calm down because I was shaking and angry and scared. As we walked away the drunk jerk shoved Jeremy hard into me and sent us both stumbling into the people around us and then when we turned back he put up his hands in the international Let's Fight pose.

We just walked away. I went to the bathroom and started to berate myself for putting my hands on him in the first place but then I thought, no, he put his hands on my repeatedly throughout the show with relatively little reprimand. He made me obviously uncomfortable and acted like a dick all night. Then I looked at my wrists and saw the marks his fingernails made on both of them and where he had actually broken the skin on the right wrist and thought fuck that, just fuck it. Maybe it wasn't a smart thing to do, but he had no right to run roughshod over me all evening long, he had no right to touch me at all.

I hate that my immediate reaction to situations like this is to blame myself for not giving the jerks more space or for not moving to a different spot or for not doing any number of things when the thing is they shouldn't be jerks in the first place and none of us should have to put up with that shit, at least not at a New Pornographers show. At other shows I would and do expect some aggressive dancing, but seriously, at a show featuring those Canadian indie rock darlings? Hardly.

Anyhow, I came out of the bathroom and watched the last two songs from the other side of the venue and then we took the scooter home. I was shaking for the rest of the show and part of the ride home. I don't know if it was fear or anger or both. We didn't see the drunk jerk again. My friend Paula thinks I should file a complaint but I don't want to. I don't know his name and I don't think anything would come of it.

I guess this qualifies as my first bar fight, sort of.

I still really liked the show despite all of it, they played well and had a really good rapport with the audience. The opening band, The Envelopes, were really good too. Sort of surf rocky, but from Sweden I think. Who knew they were even allowed to play surf rock in Sweden?


ETA According to Dave, the drunk jerk was an Australian Squaddie. I'm not sure what that means but it sounds jerky.