Hey United Kingdom!

We gotta talk about this again.

My name is CAROLYN. Not Caroline. It rhymes with Marilyn, as in Monroe. You wouldn't call her Mariline, would you? So why you always gotta say my name wrong? It's so easy to say right! Care-uh-lynn. I bet it's even easier to say than Caroline. It's a prettier name too. Also, according to Andre 3000, Caroline is a stinky bitch. I smell nice, all the time, thanks to my Calvin Klein Euphoria and my Degree Antiperspirant

Just try, okay? I'll repeat it and clarify it if you have any questions. But for real, it's not like there any tribal clicks or whistles involved. It's just a variation on an old favorite.

Give it a chance, you'll like it.


Hey Ladies I Work With
Shut the mother fuck up! For real. I don't care about your petty gripes. I don't care that the new temp asks a lot of questions and doesn't file very fast yet. Quit being bitches and just do your lousy jobs. Tomorrow, there will be no unplanned meetings to discuss the fact that you didn't do anyfink wrong and that you were just trying to be helpful or that you were just joking. I don't give a shit.

I'm gonna start doing that noise Chris Tucker did in The 6th Sense to get people to stop talking. I'll do my Dr Evil impersonation and then you'll really have something to complain about. So just leave me the hell alone, okay?

Thanks jerks.