Home Invasion
Following 5 of 9er's impassioned valentine ode to his cat, the lovely Eloise, I was filled with warm thoughts regarding my own feline companion, Oliver.
I even wrote him a song while I was doing the dishes last night: Oliver Oliver Oliver kitten / I think it's fair to say / that I'm quite smitten. / Oliver Oliver Oliver kitten / I don't even mind that much / how often I'm bitten. This is pop genius, I should sell it to the Sugababes. And this morning at 3am I even woke up to find him snuggled up into my side with his paw on my face. Then he helpfully licked my face after my alarm clock started going off as a way to tell me that only jerks hit their snooze button so often.
But then, and this is where the menacing music would play if my life were a movie, everything changed. I was watching music videos and finishing my preparations for work when poor defenceless Oliver fell betwixt the sofa and the wall. I leaned over to pick him up and put him back in the window where he likes to watch the neighbors. He sat there looking sweet and helpless for a moment before leaping up and trying to blind me with his razor sharp claws! I narrowly escaped with only a scratch on my hand and my cheek, but I fear what could have happened or what could happen next time! He proceeded to race around the house menacingly as a means of intimidation. My kitten is a yob! Next thing you know he'll be listening to shitty music on the bus and wearing a hoodie. The horrors!
I even wrote him a song while I was doing the dishes last night: Oliver Oliver Oliver kitten / I think it's fair to say / that I'm quite smitten. / Oliver Oliver Oliver kitten / I don't even mind that much / how often I'm bitten. This is pop genius, I should sell it to the Sugababes. And this morning at 3am I even woke up to find him snuggled up into my side with his paw on my face. Then he helpfully licked my face after my alarm clock started going off as a way to tell me that only jerks hit their snooze button so often.
But then, and this is where the menacing music would play if my life were a movie, everything changed. I was watching music videos and finishing my preparations for work when poor defenceless Oliver fell betwixt the sofa and the wall. I leaned over to pick him up and put him back in the window where he likes to watch the neighbors. He sat there looking sweet and helpless for a moment before leaping up and trying to blind me with his razor sharp claws! I narrowly escaped with only a scratch on my hand and my cheek, but I fear what could have happened or what could happen next time! He proceeded to race around the house menacingly as a means of intimidation. My kitten is a yob! Next thing you know he'll be listening to shitty music on the bus and wearing a hoodie. The horrors!
posted by carolyn says @ 2:27 pm
4 Comments:
At 16 February 2007 at 11:28,
ReckenRoll said…
My mom calls that "crazy time for kitties" when they do the out of control running thing with the crazed look in their eyes.
We had a cat who used to literally climb the walls when the crazy time kicked in. There was a post in our house with claw marks all the way up to the ceiling. Be prepared! :-)
At 16 February 2007 at 13:50,
carolyn says said…
he actually dropped off inot an almost frightening stupor last night and this morning. i think it was a combination of wearing himself out and being cruelly taunted by pebbles the neighbor cat through the kitchen door. pebbles is a total jerk.
At 16 February 2007 at 15:22,
5 of 9er said…
I love it! Great post... and I learned a new vocabulary word. :)
At 16 February 2007 at 18:22,
The [Cherry] Ride said…
This is just one of the many reasons I really dislike cats. I'm just sayin'.
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