hey jealousy

i used to be really jealous of jeremy's ex mollie. like irrationally so. and he didn't help matters much by occasionally suggesting that he buy her the hello kitty (ahem) 'neck massager' ("she really likes hello kitty, why are you making a big deal about this?" i think my response was the ever eloquent, "dude, seriously?") or some other random ina ppropriate whatever.
plus the first time i met her she was looking all perfect and mod in a black mindress while i was standing there like a schlump in my overalls a probably dirty tank top and greasy hair smoking a cigarette and drinking keg beer (how is it that nobody snapped me up during those three years of celibacy? i was such a skinny butch vision!)

anyhow, at first it didn't bother me that much, she made me nervous because she was polished and pretty in a way that i just can't be. but it was no big deal. later when jeremy and i were living together and not doing so well my jealousy blossomed into some horrible three headed monster (is that charybdis?) that would bodily possess me whenever she was mentioned. and she was mentioned fairly often seeing as i lived with her ex and two old friends of hers. she never seemed like a bad person or anything she was just this beautiful west coast spectre hanging on the edges of our weakening relationship.

eventually jereemy and i moved to separate apartments and our relationship was reborn as something much stronger and resilient and i just stopped caring about this ex of his. he still talked to her every 8 months or so, but i realised that we were in this relationship and that the two of them had decided not to be together for a reason just as he an i were together for a reason. and i was cool with it.

fast forward to this summer, we went to san francisco for a week and a half. mollie offered up her spare futon so we could save money on accomodations. we accepted. even though i wasn't jealous, it still felt a little funny. going to stay with the girl who dated my husband for three years. the one he only stopped dating 3 months before he met. there was just so much history.

and for a few jet lagged moments as she was showing us around her house, it was a little awkward, but then as we all started to ease into the situation i realised something. she's pretty goddamn cool. she has desperately seeking susan on dvd and she knows where to get the best ice cream and she took us out for pupusas as soon as we washed the airplane stink off. she even threw us a tea party.

and yes, these are all potential reasons to be jealous of her again (she also has pretty awesome hair) but we got along so well that i couldn't be jealous. i liked her. she's really nice and she gets my jokes about jeremy and his millions of brown trousers and his double millions of records in a way that nobody else on earth ever will.

she's coming to visit us in april and i can't wait. i'm totally geeked to show her around our neighborhood the same way she showed us around the mission. i'm glad i got over it