rules for public transport

1. keep your legs together, not because it makes you look slutty but because the seats are really really small
2. do everything in yourpower to avoid touching me. we both have germs, i don't want yours
3. deoderant. you smell, but you can fix it. it's easy
4. no i don't want to listen to all the hits as played on your mobile. turn the JT off or put on some headphones
5. don't make fun of my sneeze. yeahm you, i heard you mock my sneeze on the 363 last night and you're a jerk and i hate you. but you seeze funny too and that's why you had to make yourself feel better by making fun of mine. jerk.
6. if you're sitting next to me and as a result i am all squeezed up against the window and an empty set of 2 seats opens up you should move. quickly. you'll be more comfortable, i'll be more comfortable. it's a win-win situation. for real.

none of these are so difficult to do. i think the world would be a better place if everyone learned to follow my 6 basic rules of riding the bus/train/tram/funicolare/whatever